I am a filler…

I’ve changed my blog theme, you may have noticed (if you read my blog at all). But this blog is stuck in time, stuck in July, as if nothing happened in my life after I registered for the WordPress event.

An occasional reader would probably think: What happened? Did that push through? Is she still alive? Maybe she fell into a manhole while crossing the street to St. Benilde and popped out of a jungle in South America! (Wait–it could be the Atlantic ocean–maybe she drowned…)

Nope, this blog is not as updated as that insolent tomato red [updated] appendage to the previous post’s title screams.

Therefore, the entire reason for this post’s existence…is to fill the space just to keep your attention from totally drifting elsewhere so you could become someone else’s traffic booster, my wasted opportunity. (I’m selfish, I know. I’d like to keep you here.)

My old call center buddies would understand this perfectly. If you’re a call center agent, you’re not allowed to have too much “dead air” during a call—that uncomfortable silence during which either caller or agent would wonder if the other person is still on the line or if he/she couldn’t hold it any longer and had to flee without warning to the restroom, or fell asleep, or got hit by a stray fatal cosmic ray and simply vaporized.

Picture this: You’re on the night shift. Your butt is stinging from the arctic air conditioning and from sitting for hours, tied like a slave to the callmaster (yes, that’s what the phone equipment is called). Your body is asleep—admit it, it’s unnatural to be awake at night and be asleep during the day. You’ve been twitching involuntary, one moment dreaming blissfully that you’re back home snug between your soft, fluffy pink pillows, and the next, your Avaya rings or beeps and your heart jumps off your chest like a frightened animal in a cage. And yet—

Good morning. Welcome to [insert company name here]. How may I help you today?

Cheery, you have to be cheery. Let your body fall asleep, but you must keep the conversation rolling.

I am now pulling up your records…I am now searching for your service request…Please give me a minute or two to review your transaction history…I am now making a ticket to escalate your case to our engineers…I am telling you everything that you need to hear so you’d know I’m doing my job and not playing poker with my coworker…

The hold button is only good for a few minutes, then you have to get back to the caller. If you forget your lines, improvise. Talk about the weather. Do small talk. Say something coherent.

You can’t let the caller think you’ve dozed off, dreaming of spa and food and shopping and cute guys and that long-awaited vacation at the beach…You’re a professional, see? Not all callers are rude, ignorant, perennially irate b*stards. You’re there, too, for the grateful customer who needs your help and who makes it known that your efforts are appreciated, whether you solved the problem or not.

So drink 4 cups of espresso if you must. Fill those anxious silences with your bright and pleasant voice. The other person needs to know you’re still there. No one likes hearing the vast hollow sound of nothingness whooshing in one’s ear.

…

Or reading nothing, either. What is a blog without posts?

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Disclaimer:

This post is a fill-errr. I wrote this while twitching involuntary and running on auto-pilot. auto—pi auto pilot malfunction…error error will shut down now…